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Matilda was serving a woman with a stroller. The girl was our age, with a baby who was crying. Her jeans were a little too tight, like she'd bought them before the baby and was adamant she still fit them, when she clearly didn't. Her friends followed in through the entrance, one of them taking her tray to help and placing their orders.

  The girl and her friends took a seat and talked amongst their little group. She gave her baby spoonfuls of the soft serve ice cream between taking bites off her burger. There were only a couple of groups in the restaurant tonight, so the girls' sharp laughter could be heard now and then.

  Then a guy came in, wearing a black tank top and dreads. He walked over to the girls' table, but there wasn't room for him. He looked annoyed as he stood there talking for a while.

  "Fuck you, Si," the girl said loudly. It drew the attention of everyone in the restaurant. She stood up and march around the chairs toward him, pushing him so he took a step back. The guy was clearly uncomfortable, with a resigned look on his face. "You never do nothing for me. I need money, Si. You don't even look at her. You don’t care about her, Si."

  The guy flustered with sharp, aggressive arm moment. "Calm down, girl. You're always fucking yelling."

  "I'm a what now?" she said, her voice going cool. I didn't even know her and even I could tell the girl was about to explore. "You useless piece of shit. Don't you dare call yourself a man. You're a tiny boy, playing. You do nothing to take care of this baby. I'm doing everything. I pay her bills, I buy her clothes and her diapers. You can't even buy her a toy?" The girl was screaming.

  "Shut up, you crazy bitch," the guy yelled, stepping around nervously, his dreads flying around his head. "I give you money when I have some."

  "You never give me money, you tight fuck. You think I don't know what you do? Can't have a baby cramping your hanging time, can you? You don't give a shit about me, or her," the girl accused, poking him sharply in the chest. He grabbed her wrist. "Don't you touch me, you asshole. Fucker!" she screamed.

  Another girl walked in the door, taking tentative steps then stopping. Everyone froze.

  "Stay in the fucking car, Char," the guy ordered.

  "Who the fuck is this?" the baby mamma challenged, her eyes blazing with fury. "Who the fuck is this, Si?"

  "No one," he said and the new girl crossed her arms, looking sour.

  "Excuse me?" the new girl said tartly, blinking furiously.

  "That's right, no one," baby mama said, before turning on Si and letting loose a tirade of 'fucks.’ It all blended together into a stream, continuing while slapping and pushing him.

  One of the other girls was getting into it now too, screaming at the guy. Everyone else in the restaurant had stopped what they were doing and just stared.

  Finally dreads guy pushed the girl away and marched out, slamming the door open so hard, I thought it would come off its hinges. The girl was crying now, still swearing at him, her friends rallying around her, consoling and agreeing what a shit Si was.

  "Talk about intense," Mia said, leaning on the counter with her elbows. "Why do the soap operas never write shit like that?"

  "Seriously? You get yourself knocked up by a guy with dreads? That was always going to work out," Ella said sarcastically. "Stupid. What did she expect would happen? They would play happy family?"

  "Geez, Riley. I hope that's not you in nine months. That could be you, couldn't it?"

  "Fuck off," Riley said, looking more disconcerted than I'd expect.

  "Where's my money, Riley?" I said in a high pitched voice. "I need diapers." With a dirty look, he took off into the back and I followed him as he made his way to the grill. "You don't love me anymore," I called. "You said you loved me and I let you stick your dick in me and now you just ignore me." I stuck my forehead to his back exactly the way he'd done to me a few days back. "You're so mean. Our beautiful baby and you just ignore it."

  "You are one twisted little bitch, Pepper," he said as he slapped two patties on the plate.

  I only laughed. "It's not me making storage room babies."

  He gave me a harsh look and for a moment I wondered if I'd gone too far. Nope, I decided; I had a valid point. And it was interesting to learn what bothered him and this did, apparently, although I suspected it was the clingy girlfriend rather than the baby issue. I could be wrong, but judging from his dismissal of Mia, he really didn't like being tied down.

  * * *

  Chapter 17:

  * * *

  I'd chatted with Cherry today and she'd asked me to come to Reno and I really wanted to go. It would be the only thing I would do that summer. I should have at least one thing I did during the summer after I graduated, otherwise I would have nothing to remember this summer by other than being at work. I really wanted to go.

  Riley was sitting out the back when I got there. He looked over at me as I walked into the service area. "Hello, babydaddy," I greeted him with a smile, remembering how freaked out he'd been yesterday, pleased I had found something that got under his skin.

  "Princess, you can only call me that if we're actually fucking."

  "Who says? You call me princess. Shouldn't you only be allowed to call me princess if there's the remotest change we're actually doing it?"

  He smiled. "Again, more a comment on your esoterical front," he said, looking at me directly.

  "Esoterical. Big word. Do you know what it means?"

  He gave me a filthy look. In truth, I had no idea what it meant, but I bet it wasn't good. Just more of his bullshit. "And mine reflects your future prospects," I said tartly, marching to the door and punching in the code without another look at him. Asshole.

  I shoved my bag in my locker. He had a gift in bringing my mood down, didn't he? Grabbing my key, I headed out to my register and started taking orders. I didn't stop or speak to anyone until there was a lull in the dinner rush. "I'm taking my break," I said to the girls, and walked into the back, ignoring Riley on the way to the lunch room.

  Ella was there eating a bought salad.

  "Hey," I said and sat down heavily.

  "Tough day?"

  "Just bored." I heard Riley laugh over at his station. Maybe I was just the sucker he unloaded his bad mood on and I decided I wasn't going to let him. Pressing my shoulders back and closing my eyes, I tried to dissipate the bad mood he'd settled on me. Maybe he was an emotional vampire that sucked your happiness out. I'd read they existed, people who sucked the life out of you. "How are you?" I said, trying to sound a bit brighter.

  "Today, I had my vagina bedazzled," Ella said, tapping her nails on the table. "They do it at a salon a couple of blocks from here."

  Say what? I stared at her in confusion. "Why would you have your vagina bedazzled?" What did that even mean? I couldn't even imagine how that process would work.

  "So it looks pretty. Just this little heart in red rhinestones."

  I stared at her for a moment. It sounded like the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard. Maybe it wasn't, maybe it was me that had been going around this all wrong. "Do you think a guy would care?"

  "Brandon liked it."

  Sometimes the world was a mysterious place to me. I rubbed my forehead with my fingers, trying to get the headache out that had developed with another hot day. Wasn't the world complicated enough without having to think of jewelry down there? "I don’t even want to think about the mechanics of having stones down there through… you know."

  "They're really small."

  Okay, I was just going to put this aside. "Riley was sniping at me before," I said.

  "Got his period? He does that sometimes." So it wasn't just me? "Ignore him. That tends to work well in most things. He's just naturally a difficult person."

  I sighed and absorbed what she was saying. She did know him better than I did. I couldn't figure him out, he ran hot and cold, mostly cold now that I thought about it. I don't know. I hurt my head too much to think about it, and why should I?

  "So my friend invited me to go to Reno for a few days. That
's where she's spending the summer."

  "That would be cool. Are you going to go?"

  "I want to. I have to ask Julian if I can, don't I?"

  "Yep."

  It was strange to think I had to ask someone for permission to go visit my friend. It seemed wrong, but that was just how things were.

  After finishing my sandwich, I sat back for a moment. Ella was flipping through a gossip rag. Perhaps I should just get it out of the way and go ask him.

  Getting up, I cleared up the leftovers from my dinner and walked to Julian's office. The door was open like it normally was and he was sitting in the tiny room. The little desk was strewn with papers and he had a pen between his teeth as he looked up to see who was disturbing him. "What's up, Pepper?" he said. He kind of had that 'what now?' look.

  "I need some time off."

  He chucked the pen down on the desk and crossed his arms, exhaling through his nose.

  "My friend has invited her to go visit her," I continued.

  He groaned and ran his fingers up his cheek and down again. "I don't really have someone who can take over your position. How long are we talking about?"

  "Four days."

  He looked at me like I was proposing something ridiculous. I had an urge to say it was fine, I wouldn't go because it seemed such an imposition, but I really wanted to go. Biting my lip, I shifted between my feet.

  He sighed. "Fine," he said. "I'll figure something out."

  I felt bad creating a problem for him. "Thanks, Julian."

  He mumbled something and picked up a document, leaning over the desk. I guess that was it. Quietly, I walked back to my register, still feeling crappy, but why should I? As manager, it was his job to deal with rosters, and it wasn't entirely unreasonable that I ask for some time off. Granted, I hadn't been here that long, but I was giving up my whole summer working here—some slack wasn't excessive, was it?

  I was glad he'd agreed. He was fully in his right to say no, which would have made him an utter asshole, but I'm not entirely sure he cared.

  "Pepper," Julian called from his office. I finished the current order and went to see what he wanted. He held out a form for me and I took it. "I can't say yes just yet. I have to find someone to take your shifts. I'll let you know."

  "Thanks, Julian," I said, still feeling small for some irrational reason. "I'll fill this out now."

  He nodded and got up, walking past me into the back, and I retreated back to the staff area to fill in the form.

  Someone sat down and I looked up, seeing Riley there. "Going somewhere?"

  I ignored him and he sat forward, leaning on his elbow, staring at me. Okay, Riley obviously wanted to talk, which meant he wasn't going to take no for an answer. "What do you want, Riley?"

  "Where are you going?"

  "Are you going to ask me over and over again until I tell you?"

  "Yes."

  "Fine," I said in exasperation. "I'm going to Reno."

  "Exciting," he said sarcastically.

  "More exciting than staying here. I am seriously going to miss you," I said with wide eyes, dripping with sarcasm.

  Sitting back again, he crossed his arms. "You know there's a grain truth in every lie."

  I sat back too and we just stared at each other.

  Julian appeared at the door. "Good news, Melissa will take your shifts." Relief washed over my entire body. I was going to Reno. Cherry and I were going to have a blast.

  "Melissa quit," Riley said, twisting to look at Julian.

  "I can be persuasive," Julian said with the tiniest smile and left.

  "Yes, he can," Riley said. "Anyone female and Julian gets his way. You wouldn't think it, but the guy's got a gift." Riley considered me for a moment. "Why haven't you fallen for his charm yet?"

  I didn't know how to respond to that. In truth, I hadn't seen any charm. Julian obviously didn't bother laying it down on me. Maybe he just couldn't be bothered. "Probably not his type."

  "Everyone is Julian's type, or maybe it's the other way around."

  I couldn't lay my finger on it, but there was something about Julian that made you want to please him. He did nothing, hadn't even given me a look loaded with anything other than 'why are you bothering me?' Maybe that was it: he wasn't even trying. Or else, he didn't find me attractive enough to bother.

  Riley admired Julian, I realized. I chuckled. It was strange to consider that the manager down at your local burger joint was someone to admire. Wasn't that the job that confirmed your loserdom? Teenagers who worked here moved on to better, brighter things, only the losers stayed, like the person who no one wanted to pick for their team. I couldn't completely reconcile that with Julian. Julian had a certain cool edge, so maybe it wasn't surprising that Riley looked up to him.

  * * *

  Chapter 18:

  * * *

  I was still buzzing when I landed, and I had planned as much fun into my visit as possible, so unfortunately I was now going straight from the airport to work. Luckily no one had broken into my shitty car. Any thief with intelligence would give that mess a miss.

  Driving onto the highway, I wound the window down. It was scorching in the car after cooking in the parking lot for four days. My bag lay on the back seat and it would have to stay there until I got home after midnight. Hopefully it wouldn't give someone the idea that the car was worth breaking into. Maybe I should put it in the trunk, but unfortunately the lock was unreliable and it didn't always open when asked.

  Fifteen minutes later, I pulled into the Coast Burger parking lot. Back to my real life, I thought with a sigh. It had been so lovely to be away, to hang with Cherry and to just be carefree. Some got to spend their entire summers that way—well, Cherry did, provided it was in Reno. She was teary when I left. I knew she was lonely there, not really having any friends to hang with. Everything had a drawback, I guessed.

  I was a little early and most people from my shift weren't there yet.

  "Good vacation?" Julian asked.

  "Yes," I said brightly. "Have I missed anything?"

  "What's there to miss?" he said and walked on.

  "Pepper," Ella said and hugged me. "It's good to see you. Look at you, all tanned and fresh. How was the trip?" Ella kept on holding me for a while. I hadn’t been gone that long.

  "Good. We hung, shopped and got drunk. Roughly in that order on a daily basis." She should probably let go now. I hadn't realized we were close enough that she would miss me this much.

  "Sounds perfect. No boys?"

  "Nope."

  The others started arriving and I said hi to everyone. It felt like I'd been gone longer, but it had only been a few days. Riley walked out of the bathroom and I gave him an awkward nod.

  I started working, but it was really hard to settle having gotten used to so much excitement.

  Walking back from the bathroom, I stopped at my locker.

  "Hey, Pepper," Wyatt said.

  "How's it going, Wyatt?"

  "Had a bit of good news."

  "Yeah, what?"

  "This comic blogger is going to promote my artwork."

  "That's fantastic." I wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but it sounded good—important. "I'm really happy for you." He did look like he was walking on cloud nine.

  Immediately, tension flared up my spine as I felt Riley appear behind me. Wyatt beamed another smile, then walked outside.

  "We're celebrating," Riley said. I turned, feeling uncomfortable having him at my back where I couldn't see him.

  "It sounds like something that could, you know, get him discovered or something." I actually had no idea how these things went in the comic world, or what this meant, but Wyatt seemed really happy, so it had to be good.

  "As I said, we're celebrating." Riley held up a little white pill between his thumb and forefinger. "You're welcome to join us."

  I stared at the pill, getting what he was saying. No wonder Wyatt was happy. No wonder Ella was so huggy.

  Judging from h
ow everyone was acting, that little pill was ecstasy. I wasn't entirely unfamiliar with it—not that I was heavily into the drug scene, but a little E here and there had been mandatory.

  I stared at him a bit longer. I honestly was tempted, particularly as I desperately wanted to hang onto my post-holiday glow, delaying the dreaded return to work crash and being bored out of my skull and miserable all night. Could I trust him? I may not trust him to be kind, but I didn't think he would ever do me harm. He moved the little pill closer to my mouth. I had to decide.

  Slowly I opened my mouth and he slipped the pill onto my tongue, bitterness starting to seep out it immediately. His forefinger stroked down my bottom lip as he withdrew, making it give to his touch, a touch that was a tad too familiar. He looked down at me for a moment longer before turning to leave.

  If this was anything other than a really chilly evening, I was going to kill him.

  Swallowing the little pill, I returned to my register, getting on with it. As expected my mood lifted before long, soared in fact. The customers were funny and sweet, and being here was fun. Even Mia smiled. I guess she'd had some too. Good for her. She could use a break from her perpetual bad mood.

  Everything was funny, except Matilda, who was as stoic as ever. There was just no getting through to her. I really knew nothing more about her than the day I’d started, except maybe her unrelenting hate for Julian. I doubt she was included in his list of conquests. Matilda was generally excluded from most things as a rule.

  Preparing orders felt like dancing, floating through the air. I was spreading happiness, giving the customers what they wanted. When the line died down, I walked to the back, where everyone seemed to be congregating. Riley took a sip from a water bottle, cold enough that water condensed on the outside. He handed it to me and I felt the coolness seep into my fingers. The plastic felt smooth, a drop of condensation dripping on the floor. Bringing it to my lips, the water rushed into my mouth, the cold creating an exploding sensation in my mouth, all the way down to my stomach. I smiled. Water was so good. We existed because of it.