An Unlikely Savior Page 15

  He bowed when the dance finished then sought out his friends. Propriety dictated that he could not speak to her more that evening unless he was intent on creating gossip, but then she wasn’t entirely sure if the rules of etiquette were the same here. He didn’t speak to her again either way.

  Dancing had proved surprisingly fun. She had enjoyed it much more than she had anticipated. It had felt like she had been reacquainted with a long lost friend, even though it hadn’t technically been that long since she had last danced. It felt much longer. She danced with Harold and then another man she hadn’t met before. He tried to talk to her in English, but she could only reply in very short sentences.

  The family bid goodnight shortly after midnight. It was a quiet and dark ride home. Even Mavis was too tired to chat, leaving everyone to their thoughts. Virginie’s thoughts turned to the interactions of the evening and of the last few days.

  It had been interesting meeting Lieutenant Morecomb. If he had good character, and being that he was a friend of Simon, it was likely that he did, then he could be someone she could see herself married to. Harold, for all his advantages, just didn’t make her feel that way.

  On one level she felt guilty for thinking that way. There was part of her that felt loyal to Tomas. Tomas had no means and she knew this. He was not an appropriate match for her in anyone’s eyes. She didn’t think of marriage, or prospects, or the future when she was with him. She couldn’t even imagine what future she could have with him. If they were still in France and things were like they were, they could have a future as Etienne would support them, but she also knew that Tomas would never accept that. His stubborn refusal to accept support made a future impossible.

  She knew she shouldn’t be thinking about it, she should turn her interests to someone like Lieutenant Morecomb. A match with someone like him should be her ambition, not to someone who refused to capitalize on the advantages available to him. It was a lot easier to tell her mind then it was to tell her heart.

  “Lieutenant Morecomb was an interesting man,” Mavis said like she was departing a secret when Virginie arrived for the morning meal. “Very attractive. Not as attractive as Simon,” she said to Sarah, “but very attractive. He might be a good match for Virginie here. They are coming to call just before midday.” This was news to Virginie. She had not been aware that they were to have visitors. “They are going shooting it seems and will pass this way.”

  Again Virginie felt like things were moving too fast. Mavis would relentlessly charge ahead, she would probably have her engaged by dusk.

  “Are they staying in the area long?” Virginie asked.

  “Only a few more days, they must return to Portsmouth,” Sarah said.

  “Such a shame,” Mavis said. Virginie guessed Mavis didn’t feel like she could pull of an engagement in such a short time.

  When they’d eaten, Mavis shooed them both upstairs with the order of making themselves pretty. Neither of them seemed to know what that entailed, so they just sat in Sarah room and waited. Sarah was watching at the window. Sarah waited patiently for a sign of her betrothed.

  “They’re here,” she said with excitement after a long moment of silence. She rushed to the door and Virginie followed as a slower pace. She had mixed feeling about seeing Lieutenant Morecomb again, perhaps because she should be pleased.

  “Oh,” Sarah said when they got to the sitting room. “I didn’t know we were expecting other visitors. What a lovely development.”

  “Yes,” Mavis said with a tight smile. VIrginie could tell that Mavis was not entirely pleased. On the settee across from her sat a woman with dark curled hair and what must have been her daughter, a very sweet looking girl with large brown eyes.

  There was a knock on the door and Sarah took a seat next to her mother, leaving Virginie to take the lone seat further along. Sarah’s fiancée and Lieutenant Morecomb were introduced and entered the room.

  There were greetings to and from every person in the room before everyone was seated. Virginie noted that neither of the men wore their uniforms this time. She remembered her reaction when she’d first seen them and wondered if she would continue to react like that to military uniforms. She might become one of those women who were overcome with nerves.

  “You must tell us about the fascinating life in the Navy,” the older woman said. Her name was Mrs. Parridge, Virginie had learnt during the greetings and her daughter was Ester. Mrs. Parridge turned her attention fully to the male guests. Virginie suspected that it was the reason why the two women were here.

  Simon went on to describe some of the anecdotes from their naval life, greatly assuming Mrs. Parridge while Sarah looked on adoringly.

  “And you Lieutenant Morecomb, have you had your commission long?”

  “Two years,” he said.

  “You must have been quite old when you joined.”

  “Perhaps older than most,” he responded.

  “But he advances more than most too,” Simon interjected. Mrs. Parridge was very impressed.

  “It is heart-warming to hear of accomplished persons doing well,” Mrs. Parridge said. “My Ester is quite accomplished with her art; she gets praise from the highest quarters.”

  “That is wonderful to hear,” Mavis said. “It is important to be accomplished, particularly for girls.”

  “Do you have any particular skills, Miss Durmont?” Mrs. Parridge turned her attention to Virginie. Virginie felt self-conscious having to respond in English.

  “She is very gifted with languages,” Mavis interjected on her part and Virginie was grateful. She hadn’t really managed to get the English sentence structures right yet.

  “Still has a bit of trouble with English, I understand, but that will come,” Mrs. Parrish said with a smile. “The French do have such a sophisticated sense of style,” she went on. “It is such a shame what has happened to France, leaving its illustrious citizens practically destitute. It is unconscionable.” Virginie wasn’t entirely sure, but she was sure this woman had just called her a destitute.

  “Virginie has a large dowry provided for her,” Mavis said. It was true but Virginie was pretty sure that Mavis was unaware of the nature of the fortune that was held in trust for her.

  “Then for her sake, I hope this revolution ends quickly so she at some point can attempt to lay claim on it.” Mrs. Parridge smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Virginie was quite astounded. She had never been spoken about in such a way. In France, no one would have dared such blatant insinuations. Most in the room looked uncomfortable, but Mrs. Parridge didn’t seem to realize or else she didn’t care.

  “Lovely day for a bit of shooting,” she continued picking up her cup of tea. The conversation seemed to stifle. Virginie had never had her means questioned before. It was a new concept and one that would have offended her deeply back in France. Her position and worth had never been challenged and any attempt to was a blatant insult. She could tell it was still incredibly rude judging by the discomfort this turn of the conversation had caused amongst most of the people present. She could tell that Lieutenant Morecomb was uncomfortable as well. She was curious to see how he reacted to the idea that her wealth was under threat. In the past she might have seen this as a disastrous turn of events, but she wasn’t sure she held those same beliefs anymore. She wanted to see how Lieutenant Morecomb and the other people around her would show their true beliefs and characters.

  Her time with Tomas must have had a profound effect on her in that way. She didn’t care as much about station and wealth as she used to. Maybe being chased through France by people who wanted her dead had also changed her view on the things that were important in life. The truth was that she wasn’t entirely sure of the things that were meaningful to her. She knew they were changing, but she hadn’t exactly established what they were.

  Chapter 14

  Virginie couldn’t help feeling restless; the previous day had been confrontational and not just Mrs. Parridge’s part in it. She was restless in
her soul, knowing that things were uncertain in her mind and in her perspective. Things in her life had been so much simpler before, she was expected to do what she was told and to content herself with that. The events of the last few months had made her wonder about change and what it meant to her life and her expectations. Her duty was still to comply with the wishes of her guardians, but the world was changing around her and she knew that it meant something.

  While her English family were lovely and she was lucky that they accepted her so readily, she felt a bit overwhelmed. Her life had changed so dramatically and so very quickly. She felt like she needed to get her mind in order before she could take in all the things that were going on around her.

  She’d heard very little news of how things were in France. She’d had a lot of commiserations, but very little real information. She had sent a letter to Gunther, but she didn’t think it would reach him anytime soon if at all. She hoped he was alive and well.

  She just wanted to some news, from anyone. She wanted to hear from Etienne to see that he was fine and she wanted to hear from Tomas above all else.

  Neither of them were officially linked to her anymore now that she was reunited with her English family. Etienne would have officially given up his guardianship of her and she knew it would never revert even if things went back to normal. Her future was here in this green land where rain seemed to be a daily occurrence.

  She looked out the window. They were having a rare day with no planned events. Sarah’s fiancée and his friend had returned to their naval base and it seemed even Mavis was prepared to have a day of leisure.

  Virginie spotted a figure a way from the house. She felt hope flare in her. She couldn’t make the figure out clearly, but she knew who it was. He had come for her. She ran downstairs and grabbed a cloak. She made her way out of the house and ran across the field in a full sprint. The figure didn’t move, but she could tell it was Tomas. He wore the same clothes as when she’d seen him last.

  He watched her approach, she ran in a light blue dress that was not made for running. A cloak billowed out behind her. She was smiling. It was a sight he’d been dreaming of.

  She ran straight into his arms and kissed him.

  “I knew you’d come,” she said with mirth. “I knew it. I’m so glad you’re here.” She kissed him again, properly this time, in a way she shouldn’t. He savored the kiss for a while then pushed her gently away.

  “I needed to see how you are,” he said.

  “Better now,” she said. She was beaming. There was no doubt she was happy to see him and it made his heart constrict. “You can’t have been to Italy yet.”

  “Not yet, I am going now, but I had to see you first.”

  “Then you’ll come back?”

  “No.” The smile faded from her mouth. She looked stunned for a moment.

  “I was hoping you’d come back. I miss you,”

  “You shouldn’t,” he said quietly. She was lost for words. He didn’t like having this conversation with her, he preferred it when she was beaming with happiness at seeing him. It wasn’t a reception he got often from people, but he also knew that he had to sever with her for both of their sakes.

  “We can be friends if nothing else,” she said.

  “You know there cannot be anything else,” he replied. He watched as she stepped from one foot back to the next.

  “I don’t want to lose you.”

  “We never belonged to each other. You know I cannot provide for you.” He’d never hated his own limitations as he had over the last month. It had turned to true self-loathing at times. As much as he wanted to think otherwise, nothing would change the truth.

  “I have a dowry, it will make us comfortable enough.”

  “I am not living on a woman’s dowry.”

  “Why must you be so stubborn? We can have a life together if you choose it,” she pleaded. She didn’t understand his pride and the injury to his soul if he were to be supported by his wife. She just saw a path and didn’t care about the implications.

  “I don’t think your dowry will be available to you for quite a long time,” he said. He despised having to say this to her, but she needed to know her own position. “Probably long after you need to be married. You need to let your family secure you a husband and a future. I have nothing to offer, which might be fine when you are young and in the midst of a revolution, but it won’t be so acceptable before long, particularly if we have children that we cannot provide for either.” He saw her close her eyes. He could tell that this was no surprise to her. He could see that these were thoughts in her mind, but she hadn’t wanted to voice them or to acknowledge that she could not have a viable future with him. “Have you bled?” he asked quietly.

  “Is that why you are here?” she asked. He watched as she unwittingly took a step back.

  There was no point lying to her. The thoughts had plagued him ever since they left France. He needed to know if he had ruined her completely. “Yes.”

  “Then yes,” she said. “Shortly after we parted.”

  He felt a huge sense of relief, but it was also tinged with some sadness because it broke the very last link between them. There was a part of him that wanted her to be with child and ruined because then she could be his. It would justify his actions of taking her and keeping her. Once he left her today, he would never see her again. It hurt to think so, but it had to be.

  He pulled her into an embrace. “I am sorry, I am a selfish creature and I put you at great risk.” She wasn’t pushing him away, she was welcoming the embrace and she felt her arms come around his back. He would stay in this moment forever if it was possible.

  “You saved me,” she said. “I would be dead by now if it wasn’t for you. If you are so selfish, then be selfish now.”

  “I have done enough harm; I won’t cost you your future as well. I am sorry Virginie. I made you care for me and you are much too sweet to see that I am not worth your regard.”

  “You’re wrong,” she said as she placed her face on his chest.

  “If only it were so, but I have to go now and you have to stay here. I have to go find Etienne.”

  “Please let me come with you.”

  “Goodbye, Virginie,” he said. He started to pull away from her.

  “Wait,” she said. She refused to let go. She leaned up and kissed him. He let the kiss unfold, let himself be intimate with her one last time. He had never experienced kisses like he did with her and he probably would never do so again. She was honey and sunshine, and everything good, all the things that he wasn’t allowed. He revelled in the taste of her one last time. She moulded so completely do him, robbing him of sense and purpose.

  It took extreme effort but he pulled away. He saw her welcoming lips and her half dazed gaze when he did. He had to go; he would lose his nerve and his will power if he stayed a second longer. She was temptation beyond anything he had known and he had almost ruined her, he reminded himself.

  “Don’t go,” she said in a whisper.

  “I have to go and you must return to your family now. Forget me.”

  She was shaking her head. He needed to leave, he started walking away, but he couldn’t quite turn away from her yet. He wasn’t ready, but he had to force himself to. He turned and walked briskly away.

  “Tomas,” she called after him but he knew he couldn’t turn around or acknowledge her. He needed to keep going, it was imperative. She would realize before long that she made a good escape. He hated the idea of her thinking of him that way, but he knew it was inevitable. He started running and he didn’t stop.

  Virginie watched Tomas’ retreating back. She wanted him to come back. She felt like there was much more to say, to talk about. She wasn’t ready for him to leave. She had no idea if he would ever come back. She wished there was some way she could make him stay, but she also knew there was no way of forcing his hand. If Etienne could not manage it, so she would have no chance as Tomas did exactly what he wanted.

  To
mas was the only thing that made any true sense to her in the madness that the world had become. When he looked at her she always felt like everything would be alright, and now she was left on her own to deal with a world that was in flux in every possible way.

  She sat down with her back to the tree. Part of her wanted to run after him and to keep following him until he accepted her, but the logical part of her knew it wouldn’t do. While she wanted his mind and his person, consigning herself to spend the rest of her life in a hovel like the one in Angers was a big commitment, one she didn’t know if she could perhaps not end up tolerating.

  If she was sure what was in her mind and in her heart, she would run after him right now, but her doubts plagued her. She would be defying her father’s wishes and condemning her children to potentially a horrible future. If she knew that her attachment to Tomas was more than just the consequences of a desperate time and extreme emotions that went with it, she could make a decision, but she wasn’t sure. She knew she cared deeply for him, but she wasn’t sure that care would last a lifetime. They were so different, they held different views. He even rejected the life she’d led and the things that she’d stood for. Now that she wasn’t sure what she stood for anymore, it made it even harder to judge.

  Tomas was long gone by the time she rose from her perch under the tree. She was cold, but she’d needed to be away from everyone for a moment. She needed space to breathe and to think.

  The weeks passed quickly. The parties increased before Christmas, then stopped entirely. She felt a little distant and circumspect. Life was going on around her and she wasn’t really participating fully. She was going where they told her to and complying with all of their wishes without any qualms; she just seemed a bit stuck in her own mind.